James is still in Orange, and I'm going home to Forster tomorrow since Luke is graduating Year 12 on Tuesday. I think I'll go down to the shops this afternoon and get him a graduation present. Anyone reading this in the next 4 hours or so, feel free to leave a suggestion!
I fell asleep last night waiting for James to call me. I thought it was just a funny anecdote but when I told him this morning he seemed to feel kind of bad. He was working in his brother's restaurant and it ran late. When he finished he thought I would be asleep already.
I should really be studying but I just don't want to.
- Mood:
lethargic
I got up at 3am on Friday morning to get down to Sydney on the train in time to work at Downing Centre. I got a lot of really great hands on experience interviewing clients and talking to court officials and being in the courtroom with Robert Nixon the solicitor. Oh, by the way, turns out he's blind. It was really good, there was so much work for the duty solicitor there that there was plenty of work for all seven of us students to do. The only bad thing was that Robert gave everyone a big hug at the start and when they left and even though it was just friendly it kind of creeped me out. I'm just not so good with men I don't really know touching me.
But you know, I got over it and everything else was fine. I finished work there at about 5 in the afternoon, got lost somewhere on Elizabeth Street for about half an hour, but eventually I figured out where I was and made my way to Central Station. The next train was at 6:30 and I got home at around 10. I managed to finish Camus's The Plague on the train too, it was a really good book. I didn't expect to like it that much, I just grabbed something to read before I left home, but it really was good.
Yesterday we had a lovely sleep in, and then slowly got ready and went to Thom and Jess's house for Noktoberfest - since we all missed Oktoberfest this year. We all ate lots of sausages and I'm not a huge fan of sauerkraut but I tried some anyway and Jess made big fluffly pretzels and everyone else had lots of german beer. I had a bottle of creaming soda for myself. It was lots of fun and James and I danced a bit. I fell asleep at about 12 on the lounge and Thom made me a bed. I think everyone else was going until about 3 or 4. Thom and Jess have a new cat called Suki and she's gorgeous.
I was up at about 10 this morning so I hung around reading and bouncing on their exercise ball until everyone else got up at about 11:30. We got a lift home with Chris at around 12 and James caught the bus at 1:30 to go to his Dad's house in Gosford. Then tomorrow he's going to go from there to Orange to stay with his brother for a while. I was looking forward to having the house to myself and doing some study and cooking foods I like, but it's 4:30 now and I'm hungry and lonely. I think I'm going to have to walk down to the shops and get some food for the week (I'm thinking vegetable soup) but I don't want to do anything. I want to lay down in bed with James cuddling me and that's it.
I don't really know why I'm suddenly so sad, when everything's been great. But I am.
- Mood:
sad
Then, on Sunday I think it was, I was walking home from the shops and there was a little old lady watering her front garden (which is immaculate). And I decided, hey, why not, she might have some veggies out the back. So I stopped and had a little chat and offered her some zucchini plants, and she insisted that she give me a plant in return. We organised for me to go down yesterday and drop off the plants.
So I got there with my little pot with two zucchinis in it, rang the doorbell and her little dog went off her nut. That dog really doesn't like visitors. She said that the kids across the road set her garbage bin on fire (which didn't really surprise me to be honest) so she keeps her as a guard dog. But anyway, it turns out her name is Maria, and she's a lovely 83 year old lady. She's so tiny and hunched over she only comes up to my waist, and she's hungarian. She had me sit down and have lemonade with ice since it was so hot and she was telling me how she was in Budapest during the war, and how she moved to Victoria with her husband. Her husband passed away twenty years ago she said, and two years ago her son, who lives here in Newcastle, moved her here so that she was closer.
She seems like a lovely lady. She gave me all these plants, and I kept saying thank you, that's plenty, don't trouble yourself, but she kept on going - I give you pumpkin, you like pumpkin, oh this paprika, european, you like. You like these flowers, they smell good at night time - I don't know where I'll put them all! And so many different types of peppers and chillis, I don't really even like hot food!
She asked me what nationality I was, and I said nothing really, just Australian. She was curious because she said it was unusual for me to like all of these vegetables and grow a garden, which I suppose it is. I said my boyfriend was italian, since James is half italian and he cooks italian food that he learnt off his aunties and his brother who's a chef. After that she kept giving me plants saying - This is good, you show your husband. Your italian husband will know this - I thought it was pretty funny. And she was telling me that the doctor told her he was going to replace the bones in her arm, but she told him no, she still needs her bones.
I'm going to go back and visit again next Tuesday I think. I might make her a cake or something.
- Mood:
content
It was really fun! I was feeling a bit awkward at first but then I settled in and we had loads of fun just hanging out at Lili's house talking and such. Everyone was drinking but I didn't really feel like it, and one guy seemed like he would be one of those people who keeps trying to convince you to drink, so I just said I had a problem with my liver and the doctor said I couldn't have any alcohol. It actually worked really well, he just let me be drinking my coke after that.
But the people were all really friendly and interesting and I had a great time. We got home at around 2:30 and straggled into bed. James was still very awake and trying to play but I was so tired I just couldn't stay awake any longer.
And then, this morning, I got a phone call and found out that I'm going to Sydney on Friday to volunteer with Robert Nixon, the duty solicitor at Downing Centre Court House. It's so exciting! I'm pretty nervous too though. I had to go and buy a new blouse because I needed one that was white, long sleeved and buttoned to the neck. I think I'm going to have to go and get some new stockings and shoes too. I have some black jiffies that I could wear, but I'm not sure. And I have to be there by 8 so I'll have to be at Broadmeadow train station by twenty to 5 that morning, so I'll probably have to get up at about 3 to get ready and then catch a taxi since the buses don't run then. I'll have to catch the train to Central and then another train from there to Museum Station and then walk to Downing Centre.
I have to decide what I'll take, and I have all my assessments and things, it's all very hectic. But good too, it's all extremely good.
- Mood:
creative
I haven't done any study in about three days. It's just so darn boring. All these Reasonable Men doing Reasonably Foreseeable things, it's just bloody frustrating, that's what. And I know that I'm woefully underprepared for the exam which is in under three weeks, but every time I think about study I pre-emptively get a headache. My poor brain knows what's coming and is trying desperately to escape.
My golden zucchini plant has little fruit on it now though! I still have far too many green zucchini seedlings around though and no one will take them. My strawberries are getting a bit bedraggled with a combination of bugs and sun, but I'm hoping to get down there in the next week or so with some soapy water in a sprayer bottle and get stuck in.
I'm feeling so tired all of a sudden, I'm gonna go see if I can weasle a massage out of my boy. We're going to one of his friend's birthday party tonight so maybe.
- Mood:
blah
( Honeycomb )
( Ganash )
( Basic Ice Cream )
( Gluten Free Pastry )
( Watermelon Sorbet )
( Variations )
I love cooking desserts.
- Mood: cosy
Saturday night was the Zombie Movie Marathon - Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead. It was a pretty nice night, and it was interesting to see how each one reflected the decade it was made in. Plus it was fun making fun of the special effects and internal logic with all the boys.
Sunday day was Sarah and Naomi's birthday picnic. Everyone brought a plate and Naomi's Mum supplied the cake. There was a huge amount of food with about 20 people despite the grisly weather. James came too and he actually had a pretty good time. He ended up playing football and soccer with the boys. I was a little bit worried because I don't have very much money at the moment so I could only get fairly cheap presents - I got Sarah one of the hair clips she always wears, some little bunny figurines and some homemade slice, and I got Naomi a bag of homemade chocolate truffles and chocolate covered honeycomb.
I ran out of money completely last week (James covered me for groceries until I was paid on Friday) so I'm putting myself on a much stricter budget now. Don't get me wrong, I've got savings there if I really need them, but I can't really touch them without some rigmarole and if I can, I'd rather try and keep it all in place, at least until Christmas, but also for France next year so I can maybe pay for Mum and even James to come visit me for a while.
I even got around 900 words done on an assessment Sunday night.
- Location:Three steps away from a hot shower and snuggly PJs
- Mood:
sleepy
You might be surprised to know that I'm a little stressed. I'm only just realising I'm stressed though. You see, my body doesn't like to send me actual emotions to tell me I'm stressed. I mean, I'll get a few stress twinges every now and then, but the way I know when I'm really stressed is when my body goes nuts. I crave cakes and greasy food, I get achy muscles, I get mouth ulcers and sore gums, I get pimples, my attention span goes out the window.
What I want to know is why any of those reactions would be useful when I'm stressed. I suppose the food thing is looking for energy, but I mean jeez!
I also have all manner of other social things on in the next month, so I'm really not sure if I'll be posting that much. I'd like to, but we'll see I suppose. It all comes down to motivation and I really don't have that much of it.
- Mood: listless
- Music:The squeaky wheel on nextdoor's wheelbarrow
I had another post I felt like making today, but I thought I had better get in while the iron is hot on this one.
The media, both here in Australia and overseas, has gone crazy over this sketch on the Hey Hey It's Saturday reunion show last night:
Now, I'm not going to deny that Australia is a pretty darn racist country. Look at the Cronulla Riots, the treatment of international students at universities, refugees and asylum seekers.
But I do not think that this is an example of that racism.
It was ill-considered, certainly, but the whole point of the show was to have a bit of a laugh at what the show was like twenty years ago. The Australian sense of humour is sometimes hard to understand from an outsider's perspective. But the whole reason these things are funny is because they are absurd. If I thought those people actually did believe in white supremacy and the like, it wouldn't be funny.
Australia does need to do something about the amount of racism out there, but this was just a bit of a laugh. Let's look at the real issue please, instead of giving so much attention to silly distractions like this.
- Mood:
annoyed
I'm in Forster for a week to visit everyone.
It rained all yesterday and the day before, but the sun came out this morning and it looked like a lovely day, so I sent everyone a message to see who wanted to go swimming. Lindsay and Corey are too busy doing uni work, Alanna is in Sydney, and nobody else replied. My own brother wouldn't even go with me... He'd much rather hang out with his friends apparently.
Mum and I ended up just going for a walk along the beach instead. It was really nice though.
She's had some health worries and she's got a doctor's appointment on Friday to check it out, so hopefully it's nothing, but I'm a little worried. She doesn't seem to be worried but I think she might be. It's just joined the whole queue of things that we just don't talk about, she and I. I suppose we'll see.
Everyone's getting together on Saturday, and I suppose that not everyone is on holidays like I am, so I'm trying not to take it too harshly that noone wanted to come swimming. I suppose to that the water still is a little cool. That sort of thing doesn't really bother me, but some people don't enjoy the water as much as I do, even when it's cold.
I'm trying very hard to have a good time this week. It's a bit hard, but I'm determined.
- Mood: okay
It was so great!
( The story and some photos to go with it! )
I love having Uni friends, my group from high school are still awesome, but it's cool to have people nearby who you can argue with and complain with about assignments and lecturers and such, who know exactly what you're talking about!
- Mood:
ecstatic
Hi there punters!
I haven't posted in three weeks! Why? I'm not sure to be honest... Sometimes I was too lazy/didn't have enough motivation, sometimes there was too much happening and I didn't have the time, sometimes I just wasn't sure what I felt like writing.
But today I've decided that I should post anyway. I enjoy having an LJ so I have to keep it up. That means that this post, and many like it will just be me grumbling and mumbling about stuff that's been happening, but every now and then, I hope I'll have something interesting or profound or funny or otherwise good to say, and then I'll be happy.
As for the last three weeks, what's happened...
- About 3 assignments and two tests have been handed in. Of the marks I've gotten back I've got 2 100%s, 1 85%, and 1 82.5% - quite pleasing.
- I've planted many strawberry plants, 5 sage bushes and 15 tomato seeds. The strawberrys were mostly just repotted and they're full of fruit, the sage is only little and two are in pots three in the ground, and the tomatoes are in a little seed-raising pot I keep inside on a windowsill, they're seedlings now.
- Mangos have started turning up in shops!
- There was a huge dust storm that covered most of NSW in orange haze.
- I made honeycomb from scratch then crushed it up and mixed it through ice cream.
- I went to breakfast with the BookCrossing ladies at Cafe de Beaumont.
- My mum found a lump in her breast. She hasn't been to the doctor yet so we don't know if it's anything.
- James's favourite sheets finally gave up the ghost.
- James has been very stressed about the end of his Honours year and what he's going to do next year, and mostly I think I've done really well in being cheerful when he's sad (He doesn't like it when I get sad because he's sad, because that makes him feel worse). I had a bit of a cry one day but even that wasn't too severe.
- I went to the Law Ball and had a fantastic time, though I think I drank my champagne a little too quickly at first because when I stood up after dinner I was rather dizzy, but I stopped drinking after that and I felt much better.
- James left for the Central Coast yesterday afternoon to go to a party that his best friend is having, and last night I went out with some of the girls and a few guys from law to celebrate the two weeks holidays that start monday. I think I'll post more about that later when I get the photos from Sarah's camera... Just a sneak preview though, I got to have a go at fire twirling!
And that's that. I want to get a lot of things done this holidays and so I should have lots of interesting posts hopefully : ).
- Mood:
accomplished
I'm home in Forster for a bit of a visit this weekend.
This is Gorgeous George:
He's a scaly-breasted lorikeet. Mum found him blown out of a tree when he was a baby, but he's almost all grown up now!
You can't see it in this photo but underneath his wings is bright bright red.
Now we're having some of the fish my brother caught out on the beach last night for lunch, so I'd better be off.
I quite like coming to Forster.
- Location:Forster
- Mood: chipper
- Music:Mack the Knife - Robbie Williams
I'm trying really hard to have loads of fun and get things done and not be too clingy, and sometimes it works, but then I just worry again. For example, I was over at the university just now helping out doing a mock Mock Trial (we just scripted it) for the open day so people ho might want to study here could see us in action. And it was really fun and I got a $50 book voucher. But James called just before it started and I had to be all, "Hi Puppy, sorry, I'm really busy at the moment I've gotta go. Okay, bye." He hardly got a word in edgewise, just an "oh, okay," and then I hung up 'cos I really was quite rushed. And by the time it was over and I called him back his phone was turned off so now I can't get onto him, and I'm starting to worry now that it was something important or that he's sad and I didn't talk to him at all. I feel really bad and I know it's very silly but I can't help it.
I know it was important that he went to Orange and that it'll be good in the long run, and I do want him to stay until he gets his head sorted out, but I just wish he could be here, or I could be there.
I guess I'm just lonely, and I miss him.
- Mood: discontent
So I got a RedBubble account (www.redbubble.com/people/angelbird72) and it's kind of fun. I only have two shirts up at the moment but I'm thinking of putting up some more things. Since James is away I have to fill my time with something.
I miss my boy very much. I can stay perfectly happy during the day, but at night time I'm lonely.
I'm also covered in itchy bites. I think I'm going to lose my mind, or claw my skin off, or both.
- Mood: lonely
I've been meaning to post for a while, but I just haven't had the time.
( The good... )
( The not so good... )So that's a quick overview of the time up until now... Oh, except I went out this Saturday night just past with some girls from Law and it was really nice, but this other thig's just so big it's kind of overshadowing it.
- Mood:
anxious
Monday night we had a little bit of a freak out. I was just feeling a bit emotional and I hadn't realised how much the picnic meant to me until James started joking that he wouldn't take me and I burst into tears. We sorted that out though and went off to sleep.
Tuesday morning comes around and it's overcast but it still would have been lovely. I had a driving lesson in the morning so James was going to get everything ready while I was gone. I jump in the car and it's spitting a little and it just keeps getting heavier and heavier. I had the windscreen wipers going like crazy there for a little while. It eased back off to a trickle by the time I was finished but the damage had already been done.
James was so nervous. After all the drama of the night before he had no idea what to do. He looked so worried the poor little pet. Thankfully I was feeling a little more sane so we just set it all up in the lounge room in front of the telly and said we'd do it properly some other time. The whole rest of the week it's been bright and sunny again. The weather gods just don't want me to have my picnic.
The rest of this week has been hectic. I have a presentation in about 25 minutes for Torts about the Trevorrow case that was so much in the news a little while back - 15% of my final mark. Then I have to go shopping and get all of the ingredients for the lunch I'm hosting tomorrow for Amy and Naomi and Sarah from Uni. (More on that later) Then that night is the Sir Ninian Stephen Lecture in town. This year it's the Solicitor-General of Australia giving it so that's exciting. And THEN Saturday morning we're getting on the train to Sydney to go to James' Aunty Julie's birthday dinner in Sydney.
Phew...
- Location:Uni
- Mood:
exhausted just thinkin bout it
I went over to Aunty Janna's place today to see everyone. Little Macie has gained about 400g since she was born and she's looking very healthy. Nan showed me how to bath her and put baby oil on her (she loved that) and I fed her as well. I went to give her a little more milk after having a go at burping her though and the teat fell off the bottle and she got covered in milk. We had to go and change her, but the second little suit looked more comfy anyway.
Aunty Janna took a photo of me with my phone. I'm not looking particularly glamorous, but hey.
I played with Tyler a fair bit too, chasing her around the yard, and I ended up staying for dinner. Tyler got a little naughty as it got later, but she's not a bad little girl, she just loves climbing and her little sister - she can't resist. And as a two year old it's hard for her to understand how careful you have to be with a new little baby. She forgets.
I'm gonna try and get an early night tonight since James isn't here so I'll be getting up at a decent time tomorrow to get some money for my driving lesson and do a bit of washing. I have a load of Uni work too and other stuff so I'm gonna be flat out this weekend I think.
- Mood: lethargic
-I can't rmember if I mentioned that Corey emailed me to apologise. But He did. And I tried to reply but apparently it didn't ork so I sent off another email yesterday and it looks like we might grab a snack some time and see if we can't work things out.
-I'm TIRED! I've been playing soccer and Uni is intense at the moment.
-James is doing really well at Uni and we're getting along really well. It's good times relationship-wise.
-My garden is looking fantastic. I'm going to do more work on it tomorrow, fingers crossed.
-I have so much dirty washing I think tomorrow will have to be washing day too.
- Mood: chipper
But you know, I woke up today and saw James all snuggled up asleep under the blanket my Mum knitted us and felt really good. I sat down next to him with my cup of tea and toast and just felt really, really good. That's how I realised how down I'd been, by comparison. Yesterday and the day before I spent a lot of time in the garden and the sun felt amazing. Most of my garden is neat and tidy again now and my washing's on the line.
It's so nice to look out the window and see the backyard. The hillshoist has all the fluttering clothes on it and my plants are perky. The birds are jumping around in the trees because the first leaf buds are starting to form and so a few more insects are about - I even saw a couple of king parrots in the wattle tree down the back. It's in flower and I can smell it from the steps. And the sun! We've had glorious blue skies for the last few days and I just can't wait to get outside.
I have a lot of things to get done for Uni, largely because I didn't get my act together in the last couple of weeks. But it's okay. I'm really pretty excited to be back at uni, and I'm resolved to put in more effort than last semester and be much more organised. Starting today. We're also trying to eat more healthily, so if I can get over the hunger pangs I think I'll be feeling more energetic too which is good. I have three soccer games next week!
I tried to research pedophilia and such during the holidays, to have a go at writing about it. But I guess I'm not as desensitised as I thought. I didn't get anything written, and I think all the reading I did is responsible for some of my bad dreams. But that's that I suppose. I'll try again in a year or so maybe, and see where it leads me. For now I don't want to drag myself down. I want to be happy.
I think that deserves its own paragraph. I want to be happy. I want to be carefree and excited and energetic. I want to be strong and independant and confident. I want to be in love and loved and beautiful. And you know what, I think I'm getting there.
- Mood:
cheerful
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